5 Fandom Friday: Things I Love About Halloween

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It’s been a bit sparse around here this week, I know. With work, my freelance writing, losing an entire night to doing All the Updates and solving All the Problems on mine and hubster’s phones, and Nutcracker season kicking back up, I was just caught off guard with how packed my schedule was this week. But, I couldn’t pass up writing about this week’s Fandom 5 prompt: the things I love about Halloween. Growing up, my family and I didn’t celebrate Halloween, so now that I’m an adult, even though I’m the LAST person you’ll catch downtown partying on Halloween night because, well…

people

Just kidding…

But really, partying in general isn’t really my scene (#TeamHomebody), but partying, in the cold, in a costume all night seems so much worse. So my Halloween plans more frequently center around more low-key celebrations. But like I said, I didn’t celebrate Halloween as a kid so I really enjoy getting to engage in spooky festivities now as an adult. Here are a few of my favorite Halloween things:

Watching and Reading Horror Classics

nosferatu

I love horror in general, from the actually fantastic horror stories and films to the craptastic. However, around Halloween season, I really like in indulge in the genre’s classics. Nothing beats watching my favorite classic horror flicks like Psycho, Rear Window, or Wait Until Dark in October, and like my October reading plan would suggest, I love reading those timeless tomes of horror. If I’m honest, I read and watch horror year round, but I love to be sure I at least get some of the classics in this month. I’m working my way through Nosferatu for the first time this month, which has turned into quite the experience, as watching a silent film always is.

Learning About New Urban Legends

Oh, I’m a sucker for urban legends (including the fantastic 90’s movie Urban Legends). I just cannot get enough when it comes to learning the lore behind an old building, or hearing the story of a nearby place that is said to be haunted. I love urban legends so much that, when I graduated high school, I had every intention of starting an urban legend that claimed an area at my high school was haunted (though if I learned anything from #THINMAN on Supernatural, I should know that’s a bad idea). My high school was quite new, we were the third graduating class, and when I graduated we had been in that building for only four and a half years. The freshness of the locale was ripe for starting a quality urban legend. However, I was unable to find any sordid stories from my school’s location (I wanted it to have some basis in truth, because #spookiness), and never was able to come up with anything. But nearly a decade later (man, I’m old), and I’m still obsessed with urban legends, especially around Halloween.

Passing Out Candy to Trick-or-Treaters

Full bars

Full disclosure: I’ve never been able to hand out candy to trick-or-treaters, even though I desperately want to. I live in apartments, and kids just don’t really trick-or-treat in apartments (especially when your apartment backs up to an actual neighborhood). My first two Halloweens living in apartments, I naively bought a big bag of Halloween candy (not full bars), practically vibrating with excitement over the incoming kiddos in costume, but they never came. So I’ve still got a bit to wait until I have an actual house where I can leave a porch light on and let kids stop by for treats, but I’ve always been weirdly excited for that.

Avoiding Haunted Houses Like the Plague

Nope

You would think a horror fan would love a nice haunted house, but not this lady. There’s just something about the haunt happening to me rather than watching it happen to others that freaks me out. In the last haunted house I attended for the rest of my life, I went with an equally freaked out friend who not only ran into me when trying to escape the monster, but she actually climbed on top of me while I was standing, using my body as both a safety perch and a shield for her. However, since I was paralyzed from fear, the monster just walked up to us and acted creepy around us (thank goodness we weren’t at one of those haunts where they can touch you). Eventually the actor realized we were physically incapable of moving, so he broke character and said, “Right this way, ladies,” pointing us to the special emergency exit that got you out of the room without having to go through another scare. Then I came up with the brilliant idea to simply not fully raise my head, and only look at the scares in my periphery. This worked well until another haunt-goer walked too close to me in a section of the haunt with literally zero scares. I thought she was a monster, so I screamed like an idiot and backed away until hubster grabbed me and told me that not only was there not anything there, but the normal human who scared me was a classmate from my college. That was a low moment.

Discounted Candy The Next Day

dean candy

I love holiday-themed candy. I don’t care what the holiday is, but if your regular candy is shaped in an egg, a pumpkin, a turkey, a Christmas tree, or whatever else, count me in. The thing is, I’m also a cheapskate. So I tend to wait until the day after the holiday. You can bet on November 1 I’ll be scouring the candy aisles at my grocery store for all kind of spooky snacks.

Bonus: The Next Day is November 1

I’ve said before that October through New Year’s is my favorite time of year, but November through the end of the year is when I get crazy excited. Once that calendar officially turns to November 1, this is me, unabashedly, for the rest of the year:

Christmas

#ChristmasTimeIsHere

What are your favorite things about Halloween? Let me know in the comments, and as always, check out my other Fandom 5 posts, and follow the #Fandom5 hashtag to see what everyone else is talking about today! Also, be sure to check out my Instagram to see what I post for Megan and Kristen‘s 5 Fandom Friday photo challenge. You can see what everyone’s posting there by following the hashtag #5FFPhoto.

Classic Horror on My October Reading List!

We have officially begun my favorite part of the year! CELEBRATE!!!

pumpkin head

October – early January is my ABSOLUTE favorite time of the year. The weather is cooler, there are loads of holidays to celebrate in that time, and it all starts now. October is the perfect way to kick off my favorite time of the year because it’s a month dedicated to all things horror, spooky, fall and pumpkin-y. I get so excited whenever this time of year rolls around.

You can never have enough dancing pumpkin head gifs, can you?

You can never have enough dancing pumpkin head gifs, can you?

This year, to get me into the Halloween spirit I’m going to be reading classic horror novels all month long. While I love a good horror read, there are some staples to the genre that I’ve just never experience. I’m hoping to remedy that this month. While there are some new horror releases I’m looking to read (namely this one), I really want to give a lot of love to classic horror this month. Here are the stories on my list:

HP Lovecraft stories: Call of Cthulu and The Case of Charles Dexter Ward

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Cthulu is everywhere in geek culture these days, and I’m ashamed to say that I’ve never read a thing about him. Not only have I never read anything on Cthulu, but I’ve never read Lovecraft period. I definitely plan to remedy that this October.

Dracula by Bram Stoker

dracula

How have I gotten this far in life without reading Dracula? I have no idea. I’ve seen ALL the movies on vampires and several Dracula film adaptations, but I’ve never actually read the book. I’m righting that wrong this October, kids.

Turn of the Screw by Henry James

turn of the screw

While I’ve read most of this one, I’ve never truly finished it. Plus, I started reading this one during my time as a nanny, so I don’t feel like I was ever able to read it very carefully since any reading time was often interrupted by kiddos needing me for something. However, it’s probably good that I wasn’t reading it super intensely, as the book is about a governess (which is essentially an old-timey nanny) who is dealing with ghosts at her job.

Edgar Allen Poe Stories: The Pit and the Pendulum and The Telltale Heart

poe quote

I love Poe, and I’ve never read Pit and the Pendulum before, so I’d love to add a new Poe story to my life. I’ve most definitely read Telltale Heart before, but I just love it so much that I have to read it again. I might also re-read his poem “The Raven”. It isn’t particularly “horror”, more gothic and…generally unsettling, but I love it so much.

What are you reading this October? What are some of your favorite horror classics? Let me know in the comments!

The Mary Sue Post: Fear the Walking Dead Ep. 3 Recap

You guys, can we talk about Fear the Walking Dead? I soooo want to love this show, but these characters are really making it tough for me to latch on to this story–and this is coming from a girl who loves nearly every zombie thing she interacts with.

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I want the characters’ actions to make sense, and they just don’t. For example:

  • Travis: Let’s escape to the desert to ride out this chaos in town. We probably won’t need more than an overnight bag and certainly no food. They’ve got McDonalds in the desert, right?
  • Madison: We probably shouldn’t loop our daughter in on what’s happening–especially because it’s not only happening in the world around her, but also probably directly effecting her boyfriend. I’m sure she’ll just let it go when she sees our neighbor attacked by a walker. Now then, why don’t we play some Monopoly? Nothing says apocalypse like a game that destroys families and relationships, right?
  • Alicia: Man, I wish my parents would let me know what’s going on and why everyone’s so stressed out. Did our neighbor just get attacked? Meh. I’m sure it’s fine.Oh, hey, Monopoly!
  • Nick: I encountered exactly one walker, and I happen to now be an expert in all things zombie. After all, it’s a well-known fact that all hardcore drug addicts are very lucid and knowledgeable about world-ending, reality-distorting, catastrophic events–especially in the heat of a detox. Score! Mom got out the Monopoly board!
  • Travis: Oh, look. It’s my neighbor. He’s eating a dog, and looks just like those other zombie-like creatures I’ve interacted with before. I wonder if he’s up for a quick chat. Oh, and hey, please no one teach my son how to use a gun. I realize society is crumbling around us and there are literally flesh-eating monsters about, but I don’t think that’s a reason to go teaching my kid about guns and stuff. We’re more of a melee weapon-wielding family anyway. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to put our trash on the curb. Trash day is Wednesdays, even in the apocalypse…

SERIOUSLY. These characters are driving me NUTS. I really, really want to see the slow dissolution of humanity and society as we know it, but I want to believe the journey they have me on. Right now, I feel like I’m following a family of idiots who make crazy choices that make zero sense to me. But, I’d love to hear what you think. Here’s an excerpt from my recap over at The Mary Sue:

It would seem the pace has finally, finally started to pick up on Fear the Walking Dead. After an episode of heavy family drama and light walker action, and another with disjointed action and ambiguous plans to escape to “the desert”, things have finally started to get real. Travis, his son, his ex and the rest of Team Barbershop are still waiting out the riots in while Madison and her kids are chilling at their house in the ‘burbs as they wait for Travis to return.

Hours have passed since Madison and Travis parted, and Madison and the kids are starting to worry—especially since they watched their neighbor get attacked by a walker. Despite the hours Travis has been away from his family, despite the next-door-walker, and despite the fact that Alicia’s boyfriend is at his house actively becoming a walker, Madison still refuses to let Alicia know what’s going on. Instead, Madison tries to distract her kids with Monopoly (a game known around my home as “The Friendship Ender”).

There were several unbelievable moments in this episode, but this was one probably the dumbest. I had a real hard time believing that Madison—a woman who had just witnessed a couple of actual zombies, a woman who is now scared to death that she’s lost her husband, a woman who is trying to help her son successfully detox in the midst of the literal apocalypse—would be up for playing a jolly game of Monopoly. ..

Read the entire thing at The Mary Sue, and let me know your thoughts about the episode and the show in general in the comments! 

Guest Post by April Genevieve Tucholke: Inspiration for “The Flicker, The Fingers, The Beat, The Sigh”

I pushed myself last month to read a novel, a collection of short stories, and a novella to break myself out of a months-long reading slump. While finishing the books took a bit over a month, I read each of them, loved them, and have since waved that pesky reading desert wasteland goodbye. Yesterday, I talked about my thoughts on Armada (TL;DR: it was fun, but Ready Player One was soooo much better–if you’ve never read Ernest Cline, go for Ready Player One and just watch The Last Starfighter), and today I’m doing something a bit different to talk about the collection of short stories I read: Slasher Girls & Monster Boys. The book is a collection of short stories collected by April Genevieve Tucholke (who writes a short story herself), but each story has a bit of a twist. I’m so excited to get to be a part of the official blog tour for the book, and bring you a guest post from April herself!

Slasher Girls

When I first heard about this book, I saw that the publisher was lauding it as “A powerhouse anthology featuring some of the best thriller and horror writers in YA— for fans of Stephen King, Neil Gaiman, American Horror Story, and The Walking Dead.”  I’ll be honest, that alone hooked me. I didn’t look any further into the book, and I requested a review copy. It wasn’t until after I received my copy of the book and started reading that I noticed that each story had an air of familiarity to it. If this collection was simply an anthology of short, scary stories, that would be great, but not entirely unique. What makes Slasher Girls & Monster Boys not only a great book, but a unique one is that each story was inspired by an existing work of literature, film, television–and the occasional Nirvana song (seriously). Even better, the author’s inspirations are revealed at the end of each story (at the bottom of the page and upside down to discourage cheating), so you can guess the work the author is referencing. Honestly, I loved this book. It was a fun, quick read, and the stories range from unsettling, to creepy, to downright scary. This book is DEFINITELY a must-have for any horror fan. 

But enough of me talking.

I’m so happy to welcome April to my blog today for the official Slasher Girls & Monster Boys Blog Tour. She’s written a post–and peppered it with gifs since we’re all about the gifs up in here–talking about the inspiration behind her AMAZING short story in the collection, “The Flicker, The Fingers, The Beat, The Sigh”. Please welcome April to the blog, and be sure to pick up your copy of Slasher Girls & Monster Boys–it hits stores TODAY!

I drew from two inspirations for my Slasher Girls & Monster Boys short story—one iconic, and one not-so-iconic:

Inspiration 1:

carrie

It was inevitable that someone in this anthology would be inspired by Stephen King’s Carrie. I relate to the shy main character of this book/film, and I’ve always had a sympathetic twitch for the underdog, for the girl who is just a little bit different, for the girl who takes revenge.

carrie2

Inspiration 2:

IKWYDLS

It’s not a classic, like Carrie, but I have a soft spot for I Know What You Did Last Summer—I absolutely love the scene with the four kids in the rain, screaming at each other, frantically trying to figure out what the hell they are going to do. I always try to put myself in their shoes–-seriously, what would you do if you were a senior in high school and you crashed into somebody on the side of the road? What if you’d been drinking? What if there was a good chance you could hide the body and get away with it?

Last Summer

I love pondering questions like these, so it was fun to force my characters to go through this kind of experience.

What are some of your favorite horror stories? Have they inspired you to write your own stories, make your own movies, or create your own art? Tell me about it in the comments. And grab yourself a copy of Slasher Girls & Monster Boys today! 

Nerdist Presents: The Hive at San Diego Comic Con

I’m not going to San Diego Comic Con this year. While I’m still sad that I don’t get to go AGAIN, there are enough people that I follow who are going (like one of my faves, The Nerdy Girlie), that I can almost feel like I’m there. In the spirit of that, I wanted to let you guys know about an awesome thing you can find at SDCC this year from Team Nerdist. Nerdist Industries (headed up by the lovely Chris Hardwick) is launching an actual film label, and the first movie to be born from that is a horror flick called The Hive.

The Hive

Here’s a bit on The Hive (and an all-caps comment from Hardwick himself):

From the producer of Scream, Nerdist Presents The Hive turns the contagion genre on its proverbial bleeding ear. The cross-genre thriller starring Gabriel Basso (Kings of Summer, Super 8), Kathryn Prescott (MTV’s Finding Carter, Skins), Jacob Zachar (Greek) and Gabrielle Walsh (Vampire Diaries, Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones) received raves after its debut at Fantastic Fest in Austin and Nerdist Founder and CEO Chris Hardwick said, “THIS MOVIE IS SO MUCH DAMN FUN. The first time I saw it I was blown away by how fresh and inventive the story was, which is no small feat in horror. I knew right away I wanted to help get this movie into the eyes and earholes of horror fans.”

When Camp Yellow Jacket has fallen into chaos, teen counselor Adam wakes up in a boarded up cabin with no memory of who or where he is. His only clue as to what’s happening are the notes he’s scrawled for himself on the walls and the disturbing physical transformation he must overcome. The only memories he has aren’t his own, yet those memories may be the key to Adam’s survival.

In speaking on the release, prolific horror producer Cary Granat, who made the film with producers Ed Jones, Vincent Seiber, and Jared Mass, said, “We are thrilled to have the Nerdist Presents brand on The Hive. The Nerdist team reminds me so much of the early days of Dimension in that they are aggressive, smart, innovative, in touch with their audience, and focused on creating new rules to marketing.”

Coming to theaters and digital movie platforms this fall, Nerdist Presents The Hive is the next generation of horror film from Director Dave Yarovesky with fast paced scares, biting humor and a wicked soundtrack featuring Steve Aoki.

You guys, I cannot WAIT to check this movie out. Do you feel the same? If you are, AND you’re going to SDCC (*mutters a resentful grumble*), have I got some great news for you. Nerdist has some great panels happening at SDCC, in addition to some opportunities at your first look at the film, and panels/Q&A with the cast and crew. Yes, it’s definitely as rad as it sounds. Wanna see the schedule? Well, friends, I’ve got it right here for you:

behold

Friday, July 10th
12:00-12:30pm – The Nerdist Conival at PetCo Park 
A  conversation with director Dave Yarovesky and the cast. More details about the conival will be released soon!

Saturday July 11th
1:00-2:00pm – The Nerdist Panel with Chris Hardwick (Indigo Ballroom)
Director Dave Yarovesky joins Chris and the Nerdist team for their annual panel.

3:30 – 4:30pm – Nerdist Presents The Hive (Horton Grand Theater)
*Heads up, kids, this is a ticketed event*
Director Dave Yarovesky and the cast host an intimate panel where fans can get their first look at the film.

Are you as excited about The Hive as I am? Will you be at San Diego Comic Con this year? Are you planning on attending any Nerdist panels? You’ll all have to tell me about your con plans in the comments, and give me thorough recaps after its over so I can feel like I attended! 

Everyday Cosplay: Vanessa Ives

If you’ve hung around Distracted Blogger for a while, you’ll know that I love horror–both good and bad horror. So when Showtime announced the show Penny Dreadful, I knew I had to check the show out. Of course, I don’t get Showtime, so it’s taken me a while to jump into the show. I’ve just started watching, and I have to say–I’m already quite obsessed. I also was immediately taken by the killer costumes that the show’s costume designer gave Eva Green in her portrayal of Vanessa Ives. I knew I had to make an everyday cosplay outfit to pay homage to her spooky, Victorian style. Check it out:

Everyday Vanessa Ives
Season two of Penny Dreadful returns to Showtime on May 3! And if you need to catch up, it’s Xfinity’s Watch-a-thon week, so if you’re up for binging on the show’s first 8 episodes, now is the time! 

5 Fandom Friday: 5 Must-See Halloween Movies

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I love horror movies, even the craptastic horror movies, so I couldn’t wait for this week’s Fandom 5 post: 5 must-see horror flicks for this Halloween. Here’s my list, in no particular order. Let’s get to it:

1. The Conjuring

conjuring

This movie is a must-see for all lovers of horror. The Conjuring is an allegedly true story (I’m always dubious when horror films say this) starring Vera Farmiga and Patrick Wilson as real-life demonologists, Ed and Lorraine Warren, who are most famous for their work on a haunting that would come to be known as The Amityville Horror–in fact, they even allude to this at the very end of The Conjuring, with Ed and Lorraine talking about heading to New York for a new case. The Conjuring is scary start-to-finish, and paired with the filmmaker’s choice to give the movie and the score itself a real throwback feel to horror flicks in the 60s and 70s, the movie has a unique feel. This is also the film that introduced us all to Annabelle, the creepy-as-hell doll (who now has her own film that is still in theaters). Creepy dolls, classic horror throwbacks, and a genuinely terrifying story makes this a must-see for this and any Halloween.

2. Wait Until Dark

wait until darkThis is one of my favorite movies of all time. It stars Audrey Hepburn and Alan Arkin, and is brilliant in how simplistic yet utterly terrifying it is. The set, as you can see, is very minimal. The entire movie takes place here, in Susy’s (Hepburn) apartment. Susy is blind, and the entire movie is Susy trying to find and evade a “trio of thugs,” as IMDB calls them, that are in her apartment.  The plot is pretty basic, the set is minimal, and the filmmakers used things like light and darkness to add to the audience’s suspense. In fact, when it was in theaters, there was a portion of the movie where Susy turns out all of the lights in her apartment, and the theater would turn out all of the lights to add to the effect. The thrills in this movie are basic but highly effective, making it a perfect one for Halloween.

Also, I’ll just include this totally unrelated Halloween tip: remember Rule #2:

double_tap

3. Shaun of the Dead

shaunThis movie is an amazing mashup of horror and comedy. It’s got zombies, British humor, characters you truly invest in, and a story that pulls you without relying too heavily on the  “OMG, ZOMBIES” factor. Also, if you’re a fan of the show Spaced (which if you’ve never watched it you should remedy that ASAP), nearly the entire Spaced cast is in the film–some in zombie form, like Tyres–and it’s even said the film was inspired by an episode of Spaced.

4. 28 Days Later and 28 Weeks Later

28 Days

The 28 Days films are two of my favorite zombie movies. The story is simple, it uses the “dude wakes up in a hospital after zombies have wiped out the earth” theme, but instead of a rising of the dead, the “zombies” are created by an infection of the Rage Virus. Though the movie is nutty, taking an infection route rather than a “the dead are rising from their graves” route gives the story a bit of creepy credibility. Because of that, I probably wouldn’t recommend watching this if you’re super freaked out about Ebola right now. I think these films have great scripts and great characters, and, of course, there is plenty of gratuitous horror gore. Both movies are great for a Halloween movie marathon!

5. Psycho

hagman

First of all, it’s Alfred Hitchcock, you guys. Second, this movie is basically the father of the big twist ending in horror. Psycho is horror royalty, and should probably become required Halloween viewing for all horror fans. Maybe they can do a 24-hour loop of this film like they do a 24-loop of A Christmas Story on Christmas. Okay, maybe not, but still. This film is horror gold.

Honorable Mention: 

Paranormal Activity Films

paranormal

While I never saw Marked Ones, I’m such a fan of the Paranormal Activity movies. I’m a big fan of the “found footage” horror film (V/H/S, Blair Witch, Rec, Quarantine, stuff like that), so I love the Paranormal Activity franchise. Though I don’t think any of the sequels were as good as the original, I still think they’re all a ton of fun to watch–and they do genuinely freak me out.

What movies are on your Halloween must-watch list? Let me know in the comments, and be sure to check out the other 5 Fandom Friday posts by following the hashtag, #Fandom5. 

Saw Is Ten Years Old and Returning to Theaters Halloween!

Here, listening to this as you read might help you get into the proper mindset to read this post:


Just kidding. But seriously, can you believe it has been a DECADE since Saw was first released? I realize there have been seven Saw flicks since the first one was released, but for some reason my head just can’t wrap itself around the fact that an entire decade has passed since we were first introduced to the Jigsaw Killer…

Read the rest over at Nerdophiles!

Spark: Second Teaser Released for New BioWare Game

Okay, BioWare. You’ve got my attention. I saw the first teaser for this new game, Nightmares, and I was intrigued. I signed up for the mailing list, and then promptly forgot that I had signed up–I do this frequently, which is why my email inbox is overrun with newsletters.

I digress…

It turns out signing up for that newsletter was a smart choice, because today I got notification the second teaser for Bioware’s yet-to-be-announced game was released today. Apart from assuming that this will be a horror game, and some internet speculation that this game will be called Shadow Realms, we don’t know too much about this new game. You can check out the game’s site, the creepy “You’ve Been Chosen” dot com, and find the teasers and other videos about never-ending nightmares and inner demons, however, there’s not any actual game info yet. I’m assuming it’s safe to bet that we’ll hear more about the game in the weeks to come, especially with Gamescom looming on the horizon. More info on this game can’t come soon enough. To say I’m and intrigued and excited about this game would be an understatement. This game looks freaky and weird, and I cannot wait to hear something official about what this game actually is. Hopefully that info will be coming in the next few weeks. For now, check out the newest teaser, Spark:

And if you haven’t seen the Nightmares teaser yet, you can watch that here, too:

Craptastic Movie Night: My Bloody Valentine

I love horror movies. I REALLY love bad horror movies. I REALLY REALLY love horror movies that have the movie’s Big Bad kill off characters in fully ridiculous and excessively gorey ways (Final Destination movies, I’m looking at you–high five). Which brings me to the movie I watched over the weekend, My Bloody Valentine. I didn’t see this movie when it was released in theaters back in ’09, and I didn’t see the original 1981 version either. So this was my first foray into the world of the murderous miner, Harry Warden.

If you haven’t seen the movie, here’s a basic synopsis from IMDBTom [played by Jensen Ackles] returns to his hometown on the tenth anniversary of the Valentine’s night massacre that claimed the lives of 22 people. Instead of a homecoming, however, Tom finds himself suspected of committing the murders, and it seems like his old flame is the only one will believes he’s innocent.

Full disclosure: this movie found its way onto my radar for one very academic reason…

Ahem…

Anyway, this movie has been on my “to-watch” list for a while now, so I was pretty excited to see it airing on SyFy this past Sunday. I have to say, this movie absolutely did not disappoint. The movie jumps in with both feet into the waters of ridiculous gore. Within the first ten minutes or so, somebody takes a pickaxe to the back of the head (which, of course, caused the guy’s eye to pop out, because HORROR). Later, someone takes a shovel to the mouth, causing the top of the person’s head to separate from the rest of their body. “Warden” rips a guy’s jaw off with his pickaxe. Later still, a woman is hit with “Harry Warden’s” pickaxe, and then burned to death in a washing machine. Of course we can’t forget the trademark style of “Harry Warden”–ripping out his victim’s hearts, putting them in a box of Valentine’s Day chocolates, and writing something like “Be Mine 4 Ever” over the victim’s body in their own blood. Seriously, this movie’s gore game is strong.

Like I said, this movie was absolutely out of control. It was originally released in 3-D, so the movie had a lot of moments like this:

So there’s a bit lost when you watch it on a 2-D television, but still, this movie had just about everything I look for in a craptastic horror flick. It was insanely gorey. The story was 75% fully ridiculous and implausible. The characters made ridiculous horror-movie choices (I’m outside being chased by a murderous madman–better duck into this building here so I can get trapped and killed easily! Oh, Warden yanked my co-worker out of the window? Better get a closer look at that window rather than getting the heck out of here!). There’s a twist ending, and they set it up for a sequel (a sequel which I’m guessing won’t happen). Sequel-prepping endings are my favorite horror movie endings. Whether or not the sequel actually happens, I love it when they end the movie with “…and they never caught him!!!”  This movie is an absolutely ridiculous ride, but it’s also ridiculously fun. It has the right ratio of moments that make you jump, disgusting deaths, and several of those tried-and-true horror movie tropes.  It’s movies like this one that make me love craptastic horror flicks.

(spoilers ahead, heads up)

But here’s the thing: when I started watching the movie, I tweeted this out.

twitter

I tweeted it as a joke, but if you think about it…

Tom spent time in a mental institution…

Tom is on some serious medication to help him cope with what he’s seen and done…

There is one person that Tom is willing to do almost anything to protect.

But ultimately an insane, murderous rage possesses Tom and takes him over completely.

So I guess the real twist ending isn’t that Tom is ultimately the killer, the real twist is…