Supernatural Hellatus Re-Watch: Am I Becoming a Sam Girl?

It’s been a while since I’ve re-watched the entire series of Supernatural (I think I’ve actually only done it twice, which is shocking to me since I’ve watched the entirety of shows like Arrested Development, The IT Crowd, and Bob’s Burgers like…seven thousand times). Since we’re on the summer hellatus, I figured this would be the perfect time to start over from the very beginning.

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I just have to say that I love, love, love the first season. It’s full of urban legends, MOTW episodes, and it’s way before the boys had to worry about stuff like the apocalypse, The Cage, crossroad demon deals, The Darkness, and all the craziness. It was a simpler time, wasn’t it? In fact, in the episode “Phantom Traveler,” Dean says that dealing with demons is way out of their league. Of course that’s hilarious since these days exorcising demons is so second nature that they’ve literally made a voice note on their phones to exorcise demons for them.

But apart from being reminded of how green the boys were when it comes to hunting really nasty monsters back in the early days, I’m starting to see something else: I might be morphing into a Sam girl. I’ve never had any animosity towards Sam, but out of the two Winchester boys, I’ve always related to Dean more than Sam. Dean’s super protective of his little brother like I am…of course, with both Winchesters any point that you “relate” to them is super amplified on the Winchester’s side of things. For instance, I’d say I’m protective and worry too much about my little brother, and Dean would say, “Yes, I too am protective and worry too much about my brother which is why I SOLD MY SOUL TO A CROSSROADS DEMON AND ROTTED IN HELL FOR 30 HELL-YEARS TO BRING HIM BACK FROM THE DEAD.”

…I just…I just like…worry a lot about my brother making good choices and not dying in car crashes, but yeah, Dean, I totally get you. Hashtag Older Sibling Problems, amirite?

But I love how much of a mother hen-type Dean is. He looks out for Sam–often to his own detriment, but whatevs–he looks out for Cas, and don’t even get me started on his relationship with Charlie and Kevin…

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But as I’ve gone through the first five episodes of the series again, I’ve really tried to watch the show with fresh eyes. Sure I know what’s going to happen, but it’s been forever since I’ve seen those early seasons of the show, so it’s a lot easier than I expected for me to leave my Supernatural baggage at the door and try to watch the show with a clean slate. As I’ve done this, I noticed that I’m starting to get some major Sam feels…and like, zero Dean feels. There’s really not much to Dean in those first few episodes, is there? Now don’t jump down my throat, I know the character develops, but I had forgotten how much time they spend developing Sam as a character. Really the most we get of Dean in those episodes is, well, this:

dean flying

Meanwhile, we see Sam build a life with someone he wholly relies on and loves…

sam jess

…he loses her (spoiler alert I guess, but it’s been literally over a decade so it’s your own fault)…

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…blames himself because he had dreams of Jess’ death days before she died (also giving us a first look into his psychic abilities)…

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…and then completely uproots his entire life to avenge the death of his true love (and his mom, but mainly Jess).

we've got work to do

Sometimes it’s easy for me to forget where Sam has been on “the road so far”. For me, the stuff that have always stuck in my mind about Sam’s journey were things like his demon blood addiction, his Dean and John-less heaven, starting the apocalypse, not looking for Dean while he was in Purgatory, losing his soul, and the lack of bro-ments after Sam realized Dean let Gadreel use Sam as a vessel. Typical things for a Dean girl to cling to, but as I’m re-watching the early episodes, the giant train wreck of Sam’s life prior to learning about being “chosen” by Azazel, his horrible childhood, his terrible relationship with his father, essentially being kicked out when he went to college, then losing the only person in his life that anchored him to a safe life…Sam’s just got a shaky foundation all around. Really the only constant in his life is Dean, and Dean doesn’t always live up to that role.

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Don’t get me started on where the Samulet has been since Dean trashed it (I won’t say since it’s an actual spoiler from this season)…

Sam has been through quite a lot, and he hasn’t always made the best choices, but getting to go through his journey again is showing me so much to Sam I’ve never noticed before. I’m also seeing HUGE ways that Sam is basically a shaggy-haired version of John Winchester. I know they say Sam is like John in the series, but I hadn’t picked up on the similarities my first watch through (which makes sense since all we really get of John for most of the first season is coordinates and sketchy voicemails). Sam starts the series with that monomaniacal drive to get Jess’ killer that John had, and we see him continue that singular focus throughout the series (though I’d argue that Sam loses John’s less desirable qualities as the series continues). Obviously, I’m only five episodes into my re-watch, but I can’t wait to see what else I see for the first time.

Have you re-watched Supernatural recently? What new things are you learning? Are you a Sam girl or a Dean girl, and why? Let’s talk about it in the comments! 

5 thoughts on “Supernatural Hellatus Re-Watch: Am I Becoming a Sam Girl?

  1. Time Lass says:

    I’ve neglected to catch up! I’m only on the eighth season but it’s been so long, I need to start over. With that said, I feel for both boys, but I get more of a kick from Dean than Sam, but I see your point where Sam was more of a developed character in the first season, and Dean doesn’t become Dean until his character gets enough seasons under his belt. Sam was more of a character to pull feels out of the viewer in the first season due to all he has gone through and Dean was kind of a bully older brother. Thankfully both their characters evolved during the seasons and we were able to see a greater relationship between the two.

  2. kaycreate says:

    I have rewatched it twice (though I’m actually not fully caught up on Netflix…ugh, time) and I feel like my feelings for the characters change throughout the show. In the beginning, I was totally a Sam girl, for all the reasons you said. But as Dean’s character develops, I found myself relating way more to him than to Sam. In the earlier seasons (I’d say through Season 5) I definitely favor Sam as a character. But in the later seasons, I feel like Dean is faced with ridiculously tough decisions, and while Sam may not agree with his choices, I get where Dean is coming from and relate to him more for it. In many seasons, I have a hard time with both of them because they are always fighting. I’m actually not a huge fan of the seasons where they are pretty much at odds the whole time. I like the boys as brothers, as a unit who relies on the other. When they let other things get in the way of them as a family unit, I get frustrated!

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